Being a slacker.

 Whenever I run a long distance, I think about how things would be a little easier if life was more like a long distance running. There are moments in life that make me feel like I'm running up the steep hill on the way to the top of East Rock. My abdomen is aching, my throat is getting dry, but I know that even after climbing up this hill there's another 5 miles to go before I can stop running and drink a bottle of water. 


When I'm running, it's relatively easy to bear and keep running. I just tell myself "You gotta run to that big tree right there and you can stop." I run to the tree, and then when I'm just about to reach the tree I tell myself the same thing again. For some reason, I'm stupid enough to not realize I'm being completely tricked by myself. I just keep running. I get really pissed sometimes, but it's weird because the person who's telling me to keep running, is myself.  


In life, things are not that easy. I can't set a fake short goal and force myself to keep working. Whenever I find a easy-way-out, I just take it.  Maybe this is because life is so much more complicated than just running, and my brain subconsciously knows that it's not a good idea to follow my fake cheer. Or maybe it's because I'm a slacker. Either ways, I feel like in actual life it's more difficult to set a short term goal one after another by myself. 


About 10 minutes up into the East Rock there's a little stairs that you can take as a short cut. Every time we run, I try to take the stairs and Geoffrey doesn't. He always takes the long way around and catches up with me. For me, not taking the stairs is not even an option. My body just reacts like a reflex to take the easy way. After all, It's a choice between doing an extra 2 minutes of running or not, and I don't know if this behavioral difference shows anything significant. But it just makes me feel really shitty about myself (which is good), and I just wanted keep a record of it just in case one of us becomes really successful. The next generation can then learn from this post that naturally being a striver is the key to success (or maybe not hehe!).

I really feel this running project is making me both mentally and physically healthy. I can concentrate and think better. I don't get stressed out as much, because every time I close my eyes on top of East Rock I feel all the small things I care in life, like girls not texting me back or a spanish quiz that I bombed, are very trivial. Maybe it's working a little too well, but we'll see. 


At least my Instagram skill is improving, and that's for sure.